Not so chic Chanel....

Just when I think I’ve seen the worst film ever, along comes another – bad in ways I never imagined possible. Tonight’s film was Coco Chanel & Igor Stravinsky – which was even more upsetting, as yes, you’ve guessed it, it was about Mademoiselle Chanel (yes, I know, and so soon after Coco Before Chanel – which if you ask me was also a great disappointment). The screening was in the plush intimacy of the Soho House screening room, but even their indulgent reclining seats didn’t make our 118 minutes more comfortable (I say our, as by the end everyone’s disappointment and embarrassment was palpable).
As the name suggests the film focuses (and when I say focus I mean it – it was PHD dissertation focused) on Chanel’s affair with Russian composer Igor Stravinsky. He is married with 5 kids, and they’re all living with Coco in her house just outside Paris when the affair takes place. Now call me old fashioned, but that’s just not cool….storyline wise we weren’t off to a great start. Then there were subtitles. I don’t know. I’m not really anti-subtitles…I think they’re a bit pretentious, but whatev’s, it’s a French film, and I guess it’s better than everyone speaking English with stupid fake French accents. The real problem was that I used my new vibrating mascara for the first time this morning so my left eye isn’t really working at full capacity today (those things are lethal – will defo have to make sure I don’t use it whilst under any influences…). Anyway, so I’m sitting there reading a film I’m not enjoying, but it wasn’t only my eyes which were being abused. No, the most antagonistic abuse was saved for my ears, for the entire film was accompanied by Mr Stravinsky’s music. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very good music, but it’s quite hard going….go on, google it. So there’s this horrible, destructive relationship, bleeding subtitles, and climpy clompy aggressive turn of the century revolutionary music – not exactly what you call relaxing….in fact I found the whole thing really quite oppressive. It was all just so sad, draining and tense.

Not wanting to be totally negative there were some good things about it….three to be precise; the clothes, the sets, and the sex scenes. However, as I said after seeing Coco Before Chanel though, I’d never wanted to see one of styles greatest icons fuck in the back of a car, and guess what, I didn’t wanna see her do it on the floor, on a piano or in a shed either – but I just did. Guess there were two good things then…..

This film proved two cliches right for me…

1. You can know too much.
2. Don’t meet your idols, you’ll only be disappointed.

As for many people Coco Chanel, for me, has always been the epitome of style and good taste….it seems this was only the case when it came to fashion though, because in life it seems she was a destructive, malicious, selfish bitch, and I for one didn’t want to know that. As so often is the case the image is better than the real thing. Shame.