No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no there’s no EX-CUSE….

Yes, you heard me (PLEASE tell me you got the Too Unlimited ref)! There is absolutely no excuse on earth for a grown woman to be wearing these made-for-a-three-year-old Start-rite-special easy-slip-on Velcro-fastened safety-strapped Rudolph-red shoes. It was bad enough that I was on post-gym bus journey from hell (apparently there was only one 38 bus working the route tonight), but these monstrosities really topped it off. No no no no no – unless you’re Grayson Perry (and that’s a whole other kettle of fish) what do you think you’re doing wearing these post puberty?! Urgh! This is like the antithesis of the ‘Should Suri (Cruise) aged 3 be wearing heels (answer obviously no) debate’. There is appropriate footwear for every age, and neither these nor Suri’s are it. Come on people, it’s not that hard!

DEEP BREATH – In with hate, out with love (Stefan Lindemann)….…....…..there’s still no excuse though!