Tuesday 24 November 2009

How I found the perfect gloves to give people the finger in…


My boots obsession has been replaced with a new found glove fetish. It all began when I lost my mittens (God – never thought I’d be saying that post-primary school). To be honest, they weren’t really working out anyway. I was finding the whole uni-hand thing quite restrictive, and was getting frustrated as I couldn’t partake in my two favourite past-times – smoking and giving people the finger. So, although their loss was a bit of a pain I wasn’t heartbroken.

The mission then began to find some new hand wear more suited to my needs. With mittens out I narrowed my options down to the following;
a. Normal gloves
b. Fingerless gloves

When I say narrowed what I actually mean is defined, because I brought a pair of each. In typical Sisi G style they couldn’t be more different (and not just because of the finger thing either).

Pair a. (the normal ones), aren’t really that normal at all. I found them sulking on a corner rail in H&M, and I instantly knew (as you can do when something’s only £7.99) that they were going home with me. I’m absolutely feeling velvet right now. It’s just perfect for winter/ Christmas, and I love the fact that it’s so ‘90’s, and Shakespeare’s Sister/ Four Weddings (aka The Best British Comic Film Ever Made). The embellishment is obviously a joy - I think it’s lovely to have a little bit of bling on your gloves. Plain leather gloves feel so corporate and dull all of a sudden, so I was overjoyed to find a high-street glove that offered that little bit more.

Glove a. and I were getting on swimmingly until I saw pair b. I was on my way back from a particularly fulfilling morning of Finance training (yes – this is exactly what I got into magazines for), when I saw them hanging from a stall by Camden tube; they looked so brash and naughty I just had to take a closer look. Forget ‘Fierce’ these bad boys are Weapons of Mass Destruction. They’re SO sex – they’re like if ‘80’s Madonna, (my darling) MJ, a cheese grater and a gay S&M freak had an orgy, these would be the result. They're like power gloves - you can't help but feel in control when you're wearing them - I mean, who's gonna mess with spike hands, eh?!
I approached with caution (both the gloves and the stall holder), and did my best nonchalant bartering….
Me: “Um. How much are the gloves?”
Stall holder: “£15”
Me: “Is that your best price?”
Stall holder: “Yes”
Me: (Unconvincing contemplation whilst salivating and making love to them with my eyes) “Hhmmmm, I’m not sure….”
Stall holder: “Ok – I give you for £14”
Me: “Perfect!”
The deed was done, and I became the proud owner of two new pairs of gloves in two weeks – Fash-tastic!

2 comments:

  1. nothing about your post in particular - but I gotta say I already love this blog, its cynical writing, great fun reading it. this will be on my blogroll, now.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Eva,

    Thanks so much for the comment - hope you're still following and enjoying!

    Sisi G xxx

    ReplyDelete